Funny short business quotes

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Business

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

Capt'n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!

Computer: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Don't wait for your ship to come in. Row out to meet it!

Govt investigations contribute more to amusement than knowledge.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

Hardware: The part you kick.

I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job

Message ends...Engage coffee-making mode.

No new mail - start whine-pout sequence (Y/N)?

No one is listening until you make a mistake

Of course I don't look busy. . . I did it right the first time.

Smash forehead against keyboard to continue...

So many lawyers, so few bullets.

The mark of a true professional is giving more than you get.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes

There's no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!

Warning: Dates on calendars are closer than they appear