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He who laughs last, thinks slowest

His gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I'm multitalented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time.

I've enjoyed this about as much as I can stand

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Now where did I put that fire extinguisher?

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Support bacteria - They're the only culture some people have

Violence never solves anything, but it sure makes me feel good.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

He has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig

Not so much of a has-been, as a definite won't be

Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat

When he opens his mouth, to change feet

Possesses delusion of adequacy

He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them

You should go far, and the sooner the better

Got a full 6-pack, but no plastic thingy to hold it all together

A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus

You may not have ulcers, but you're a carrier

You bring a lot of joy whenever you leave the room

When your IQ reaches 50, sell!

He's a prime candidate for natural de-selection

Did you donate your brain to science?

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming

He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it

If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week

If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean

One neuron short of a synapse

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; but he only gargled.

The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.