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Random

"Bother", said Pooh, as he sunk his twelfth Guinness.

"Bother", said Pooh, as his bungie cord broke.

"Bother", said Pooh, as the vice squad took his GIFS.

"Hey! Someone get that pig outta my tree!"

"It's redundant! It's redundant!" R. E. Dundant

"This is an emergency, we're requisitioning your hotdog van!"

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

A wok is what you throw at a wabbit.



AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

Anything not nailed down is a cat's toy

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Beware of quantum ducks. Quark! Quark!

Can I stop typing in taglines now please?

Click..Click..Click..darn, out of taglines!

Copywight 1996 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Divers do it better under pressure.

Do I look like a freakin' people person?

Give me ambiguity, or give me something else

H2SO4 : Help, Help! Searing! Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch

He who hesitates is probably right

He's a potato Jim! Let's gouge out all of his eyes

He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.

Honk if you love peace and quiet

I don't want to grow up, I won't grow up, you can't make me.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing.

I'm not lost! I'm locationally challenged.

I'm not nearly as think as you confused am I.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.

Is there a psychiatrist in the house? -=}BLAM{=- Any more?

Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

Make headlines use a corduroy pillow.

Never play leap frog with a unicorn.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality cheque?

On the other hand, you have different fingers

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow

Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of

Save California! Take someone with you when you leave.

Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark.

Six lemmings walk into a bar: "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Slam a revolving door today!

STICK \'stik\ n. 1: A boomerang that doesn't work.
STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting

There's one in every crowd, and he always finds me.

umop ap!sdn w,! aw dlaH

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

When I grow up I want to be a message.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty

When the going gets weird, the weird get going.

Whose idea was it to put an 's' in lisp?

Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why is it called the tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

Why isn't "palindrome" the same backwards?

WindowError:009 Horrible bug encountered. God knows what happened.

Wink. I'll do the rest.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive